BEHIND THE SPEAR

Hello, all. I am Jack Merridew, the glorious leader of my island which is now immortalized in the book, Lord of the Flies by William Goulding. 

If you would like to join my tribe, you can reach me by conch. My number is Blow, Blow, Wait, Blow.

If you are Ralph, stop trying to reach me. My conch is filled with your calls. I don't want to talk to you.

If you are a Russian official, calm down. Your payment is coming. We just need to find a wild pig.